The Basics of Self-Care

"HOW YOU LOVE YOURSELF IS HOW YOU TEACH OTHERS TO LOVE YOU. SELF-CARE IS MORE THAN A DAILY ROUTINE; IT'S A LIFELONG PRACTICE OF PRIORITIZING YOUR OWN NEEDS, SETTING BOUNDARIES, AND SHOWING YOURSELF THE LOVE YOU DESERVE" - Rupi Kaur

Hello friends,
I hope you're all carving out moments of calm in your hectic schedules. Today, we’re diving into the heart of our wellness journey: the basics of self-care. Self-care goes beyond the occasional pampering session; it’s about consistently nurturing every part of ourselves—physically, emotionally, and mentally.

After the Christmas holiday, I noticed that I was feeling more down than usual. Initially, I chalked it up to the typical post-holiday blues, expecting the feelings to pass. However, as weeks went by, I found myself inexplicably in tears at least once a day. I felt unmotivated to work or spend time with my family, and nothing seemed to lift my spirits.

The persistent sadness and lack of motivation were unlike anything I had experienced before. I started to lose interest in activities I once enjoyed and found it increasingly difficult to get out of bed each morning. Simple tasks felt overwhelming, and I began to isolate myself from friends and family, which only made the feelings of loneliness and despair worse. I was also good at masking my feelings around strangers, which didn't help. By the time I got home, I was zapped and back to feeling low.

Last week, I attended a talk on burnout and realized that I had many of the symptoms being described. Burnout, I learned, is more than just feeling tired; it's a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It can lead to depression, anxiety, and a sense of hopelessness. The speaker’s words hit home, and I realized that burnout played a huge role and more than likely led to the depression and hopelessness I was feeling. I had been neglecting my own needs for far too long.

Despite my initial hesitation, my partner, Kels, encouraged me to discuss my feelings with my therapist. With their support, I opened up about my struggles. My therapist was understanding and compassionate, and she connected me with a psychiatric nurse who could further assist me. After a thorough evaluation, I began taking an antidepressant.

It’s been about four months now, and I feel 1,000 times better. With the help of my partner, my therapist, medication (and continually working on being kinder to myself), I feel lighter and feeling more and more like myself again. The fog has lifted, and I am once again able to enjoy the little things in life. More importantly, those around me have noticed a significant difference. The time I spend with my daughters has become more meaningful, and I can engage with them in ways I hadn't been able to before. The joy of being present and fully experiencing our moments together is something I cherish deeply. This change has not only uplifted me but also positively impacted my family.

I understand that medication isn't for everyone, but if you find yourself in a dark place that you can't seem to get out of, it's worth consulting with a professional. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it can make a world of difference in your journey towards wellness.

- Marichelle

 UNDERSTANDING SELF-CARE

Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. This might sound simple, but it's often easier said than done, especially when life gets hectic. For busy moms, self-care might seem like a luxury, but it’s actually a necessity. By taking care of yourself, you’re better equipped to take care of those who depend on you. In essence, self-care is about listening to your body and mind and responding with compassion. It involves recognizing when you need rest, seeking support when you’re overwhelmed, and doing things that bring you joy.

WHY SELF-CARE MATTERS

Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for preventing burnout, managing stress, and maintaining overall health. Think of it as refilling your cup so you can pour into others'. When we neglect our needs, we risk becoming exhausted, irritable, and less effective in our roles.

SIMPLE SELF-CARE PRACTICES

You don’t need to overhaul your life to incorporate self-care. Start with small, manageable steps:

Mindfulness Meditation: Spend a few minutes each day in mindfulness meditation. Focus on your breath and let your thoughts come and go without judgment. This practice can help reduce stress and increase emotional resilience.

Physical Activity: Incorporate some form of physical activity into your daily routine. It could be a brisk walk, yoga, or even dancing in your living room. Physical activity releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters.

Healthy Eating: Nourish your body with healthy foods. Opt for balanced meals that include a variety of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Staying hydrated is equally important, so make sure you drink plenty of water throughout the day.

Sleep Hygiene: Prioritize good sleep hygiene. Establish a regular sleep schedule, create a restful environment, and limit screen time before bed to ensure you get quality sleep.

Mental Health Care: Incorporate traditional talk therapy or alternative therapeutic modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), art therapy, or even yoga therapy. Regularly checking in with yourself to see if further support, such as medication for depression or anxiety, might be needed is also crucial.

Vitamins and Supplements: Consider incorporating vitamins and supplements into your routine to support your mental health. Vitamins like B12, D3, and Omega-3 fatty acids are known to support brain health and emotional well-being. Always consult with a healthcare provider before starting any new supplement regimen.

Set Boundaries: Learn to set boundaries to protect your time and energy. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t serve your well-being. This can help you avoid unnecessary stress and maintain a sense of balance.

MAKING SELF-CARE A HABIT

Consistency is key when it comes to self-care. It might feel challenging at first, but with time, these practices can become second nature. Here are a few tips to help you stay on track:

Create a Routine: Establish a self-care routine that fits into your daily schedule. Even dedicating just 10-15 minutes a day can make a significant difference. I've begun waking up an hour before the kids and using at least 30 minutes of quiet time to drink my tea while reading or staring out the window. I've made it a point to not look at my phone or my laptop until I've given my self this time.

Use a Planner: Utilize a daily planner to schedule your self-care activities. Treat them as non-negotiable appointments with yourself.

Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Having someone to talk to can provide encouragement and accountability.

Be Kind to Yourself: Practice self-compassion. Understand that it’s okay to have days when you don’t feel your best or when you skip your self-care routine. What’s important is getting back on track without guilt.

Self-Care Checklist

To help you incorporate self-care into your daily routine, we’ve created a self-care checklist. This checklist includes simple activities you can do each day to nurture your well-being. Download the Self-Care Checklist.

As we continue this journey together, remember that self-care is a lifelong practice. It’s about finding what works best for you and making it a priority. By embracing self-care, you’re not only enhancing your own well-being but also setting a positive example for those around you. Take a moment today to reflect on your self-care practices and consider ways you can incorporate more of them into your life. Here’s to nurturing ourselves with the same love and care we give to others!

(re)Sources:

Rikki Goldenberg, The six main causes of burnout - and how to combat them

Mind Body Green. (2023). 7 Simple Self-Care Practices That'll Help You Stay Grounded.
Psychology Today. (2022). The Importance of Setting Boundaries.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Taking Care of Your Mental Health.